West Coast Wisdom, or Don't Be Like Jen....

Hello all!

So much has been going on and you guys deserve a lot more than this, but I realized, actually one week ago, today, give or take about 12 hours, that I'm not as smart as I thought I was.

This is my wisdom. Actually, this will only help people who wear glasses, so everyone else, go to imdb.com and look for pictures of Johnny Depp. You're welcome.

Anyway, now the four eyed folk...do not ever put your glasses down on a busy surface when they could possibly get lost or overlooked. This especially goes for your bed. There is no need for glasses to ever be on your bed, ever. And if you think a pair of brown glasses will stick out on a blue and yellow quilt, you're wrong. It will blend right in. Trust me. I'm a smart woman but you can't outsmart the forces of coloring.

To continue, if you have gone against what I've told you and put your glasses on your quilt, don't forget you did it. Don't walk around your room and then think, "I'm going to go lie down on the bed." Why would you do that? Did someone dare you? Because if you do it, you'll hear a distinct crunch. And you'll reach down and pick up two or more pieces of plastic that once helped you see.

Remember on TV, nerds would tape their glasses together? I don't know what that tape was made of but it was beyond my scope. What did somehow work, was taping each frame to my face. I was all, men, form an orderly line.

By the way, tape hurts ripping it off your face.

Another thing not to do is assume. If you would ever assume that plastic glasses could be melted back together, you'd be wrong.

So, many dollars later, after an eye exam, which I hate, I have new spiff glasses.

And yes, I may look cute in them, seeing as they aren't taped to my face, but still, I send this as a word of warning to all of you.

Be careful, the glasses you break may belong to you or someone you love.

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